


Every Breaking Wave

by RageAgainstTheNormal



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 15:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6014310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RageAgainstTheNormal/pseuds/RageAgainstTheNormal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen was turning. It wasn't in a good way, either. The boy was turning into a Noah. The mental and psychical pain alike was horrible. Though, from the sudden appearance of Link, things become slightly more bearable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Breaking Wave

**Author's Note:**

> The characters may be slightly OOC, as I've never written Allen and Link before. though, I tried my best!~ 
> 
> Disclaimer: The characters and concepts are not mine, only the story. 
> 
> Note: This was a request from a Tumblr user/Friend. To request a writing, please see my Tumblr, and my guidline post, to show what I will write. ( https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wvJJ2uEMYDuAcbej4-10B82VyUoSgtpPTvqRNdv95so/edit?usp=sharing )

Allen understood it now. The pain was unreal. The pain spiked in intervals, sliding up and down his frail legs, tracing up his waist in rough stabs, before snaking up his spine in an even harsher motion. The headache thrummed deep in his skull, making occasional hisses of pain escape Allen’s light pink lips. He hated the sounds. They were weak, these sounds. He couldn’t hide the sounds this time; let alone the raging fever. The Black Order had already had him thrown out from the only home he ever knew, and frankly, he didn’t think it could get worse.

Apparently, it could. Tyki had explained it to him, with an almost pitiful smile that was very rare on the butterfly freak’s face.

‘ _It’s hell, Allen Walker. The pain sucks, and the madness is even worse. Prepare for headaches, pain, and losing your mind. I wish you luck, new family member.’_ Tyki wasn’t able to explain much more after that, as sadly, Road burst in, much more hyper than Allen wished. It was going to be his new home, but it wouldn’t feel like home. Not without Kanda’s glares, Lenalee’s smiles, Lavi’s jokes, and Link’s… Well, Link.

The strange faces he made, that made Allen mentally snicker. The strange way he tried to care for the younger boy, and finally, but certainly not least, his sweet cooking. Link certainly spoiled Allen in that way. Allen missed it already.

Laughing weakly, lips curled into a ghost of a sad smile, the white haired male flipped to his side with a raspy cough, arms wrapping tightly around his stomach. It felt like he was on fire, and fuck, it hurt terribly. It wasn’t like Allen to curse in general. But this pain, it was insane. He didn’t want to become a Noah. He didn’t want this pain. He didn’t want his old family to leave him. And most of all, he didn’t want to lose his sanity. Allen wished desperately, almost mentally begged, to simply have a piece of his sanity left.

  
Allen’s eyes flickered, softly, to open, blueish-grey eyes meeting the pale, depressing, grey ceiling. It was horrible, being locked in a dumpy mess of a room. It wasn’t terrible, no, but being away from The Black Order. Away from his family. That hurt the most, out of all the pain he was experiencing. Frankly, he wanted to hear Lavi fall into a sudden hush from a book. He wanted to hear Lenalee’s wonderful laugh. He wanted to taste Link’s cooking. But instead, Allen laid, wallowing in self-pity and pain. The white haired male felt pathetic in this situation.

When another spark of pain hit, the male gasped out weekly, pale fingers curling into the bed sheets that were twisted under him. It was cold, but he knew better than to cover up when having a fever. That only made it worse for him, he was smart enough to know that. Gritting his teeth tightly, Allen held back another soft sound. God, it _stung._ His mind hurt now, the headache throbbing in another rampage of power inside of his skull. There were sounds now, inside his head. Was it a door opening?

The exorcist, or ex-exorcist, shuddered and curled farther into himself. He was hearing things. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. Dammit, if only he had listened to Tyki… Letting out a hot breath, surely from the impact of the fever, Allen lifted a shaky hand to wipe at the cold sweat beading at his forehead. It was uncomfortable, not to mention, another reminder of his imminent demise into a Noah. He would be the monster of the night now, not the ones he used to hunt. This time, just perhaps, someone would be hunting him down, attempting to kill the evil that was about to lurk within his own mind. And maybe, just maybe, he would look forward to the moment where the darkness is purged from his own mind.

His mind seemed to be turning against him at this point. The bitterness, and the sound of footsteps, almost rushed. What was this noise? Was it intended to make him insane? Shivering again, body racking from the pain. The boy coughed, one of obvious blood development in his throat, lifting a hand to place it over his blood stained lips. His whole body ached, wanted to regret the change of his body, but sadly, it couldn’t. Just like Allen’s mind, his body was subjected to the change into a Noah whether he liked it or not.

It wasn’t until that moment until he heard the voices in his head. His eyes were closed at this point, teeth gritted, fingers dug into the blankets, most likely forming holes in the scratchy sheets.

“Allen. Are you trying to kill yourself in the process of turning into a Noah?” The voice spoke. It seemed familiar, for some reason. Allen had winced, coughed harder into his hand, attempting to ignore the voices.

Sadly, it seemed persistent. “Allen? Are you ignoring me, or is the mind change already in place? Please, hang in there Allen.” The voice repeated. It was strange, however. The voice wasn’t one of madness, or the frantic whispers he heard earlier. No, it seemed to have a tinge of emotion in it.

Weakly, the white haired male let his eyes flutter open. He wasn’t expecting himself to be sane, for a person to actually be there. He wasn’t expecting someone, someone he very much wished to see, to be standing right there, with a look of, well, worry. It wasn’t usual for this man to hold a look of emotion. Allen could always see it, faintly, the spark in his caramel eyes, but now, it seemed so much more real. The pain seemed even worse in that moment. Guilt, most likely.

Link. Howard Link. The beautiful man who made him food, cared for him in an almost annoying way, and had even Timcanpy liking him. This man… He stood by the bed, silent, lips curled in what would be Link’s way of frowning. His hair was neat, per usual, bangs just dangling over his eyes, braid pushed behind him. In Allen’s eyes, he was stunning.

In this situation, more stunning than usual, even. Allen wanted to ask why, to ask why he was there, to ask why he would risk it—but Link seemed to know that, and was cut off from attempts of even opening his chapped lips.

“Don’t speak. You’re not well. I have to tend your fever, get food in your system, medicine, and stop the madness from spreading. Please, sit still if possible.” Link said curtly, though once again, his tone seemed off. Emotion wasn’t Link’s thing. He was made to protect, to care, to tend, not to express his feelings. Hell, even Allen couldn’t hide his feelings as well as Link could. Link has shown rage, once or twice, but something as broken as this feeling looked… Allen was too shocked to speak, anyways. Though the questions bubbled, all Allen could do was obey.

The white haired male stared, blue eyes wavering over the blonde, almost in an uneasy look. If anything, Allen was more scared of himself. Like he would admit that, though. Everyone else called him a monster, so it had to be true, right? Allen winced, another harp stab applied to his spine. The boy hissed, blood dripping from his lip from his lips parting. The metallic taste washed up his throat once again, making Allen shudder and gag again, spatting the blood into the sheets.

On the other hand, Link winced. Perhaps from the blood, perhaps from the sight of Allen altogether. “Idiot.” The blonde breathed, shrugging his shoulders, gloved hands prying at the sides of his heavy yellow coat. Wordlessly, Link let it fall to the ground in one swift motion, before stepping closer to the rusted bed. “You could have picked a better rundown house than this one, at least.” The exorcist mused, but was only met by other strangled sound of pain. Once again, Link seemed to tense.

Regardless, the exorcist reached out carefully, gloved hands gently gripping Allen’s frail shoulders. It was obvious the boy had lost much weight. But to Link’s annoyance, he had somehow grew taller as well. He couldn’t focus on that, though. Silently, the blonde carefully shifted the boy to sit up in the bed, brown eyes flickering ever so slightly to meet Allen’s. Allen’s eyes were pained, the blue color sharp and full of strained emotion.

Allen couldn’t do much, sadly for himself. The boy was weakened, only able to take in a shaky breath as he stared up at Link, curiously, only moving to lift a hand to wipe at the blood dripping from his mouth, instead smudging it across his own chin. His fever had certainly got worse, there was no point denying that. Allen Walker could deny many things, such as emotions, but now, this fever was overly obvious, along with his pain. He began to hate it more and more from the minute, along with the fact he couldn’t fight it.

Why didn’t Link just kill him? Get credit and praise from The Order? Allen made a slight croaking sound, before finally parting his lips. “Why?” The boy rasped. “Why don’t you just kill me? Get it over with.”

Link moved faster than expected in this moment, lifting a gloved hand to press against the boy’s warm cheeks, eyes narrowed sharply, now leaning over the bed, and perching half over the trembling mess of a boy. “I don’t take you as a fool, Allen. You know the answer to that. It’s deep in your mind, you just have to dig past the madness. These feelings, these self-doubts, they’ve formed from you becoming a Noah, right? Suppress them.” Link snapped, eyes not wavering from staring into Allen’s wider ones.

Frankly, the boy didn’t know how to reply. He knew Link was right. Allen just didn’t know why… why Link would get so overworked about him. Link cared very much for Allen, yes, but going this far? The white haired male let his eyes drop to his lap, silent once again. A sigh came in reply, along with the gloved hand on his cheek slowly wiping away more of the smudged blood.

“Let’s get your fever down first, then I’ll bring in the food and medicine. You think you can hold it down?” Link asked, slowly retreating, with a creak, from the bed, to stand at the end of the bed once again. Luckily, Link received a slight nod in response, Allen now slumped half against the headrest, letting out raspy pants. The blonde didn’t care to see Allen this way. Not at all. It was practically torture, but even so, he wanted to be there for Allen. He wanted it to be over, yes, but Link was-for the most part-a patient man. If needed, Link would wait out the pain with Allen, keeping the stubborn boy’s temperature down, and making sure his sanity was still there.

Pushing his thoughts away with a soft exhale, Link hurriedly scurried from the room, shoes clicking quite loudly on the concrete in the dump of a home. It was better than the streets, yes, but even so… The wallpaper was peeled and reeked of water damage, and the bedrooms only had small dressers, and small metal beds, with a mattress that seemed to see its days of blood and sweat. Or, in the worst case scenario, that was all from Allen. The living room wasn’t much better, with a few scraggly chairs, a hideous red sofa, and a worn rug in the middle, with a coffee table lowered on top of it. The kitchen was simple, a rusted sink and unplugged fridge that seemed to have its bad days. The bathroom was very similar in that sense. Simple, rusted, yet surprisingly clean enough for Link to not bat an eyelash at it.

Link was more so worried of Allen laying in the filth all night, however. If he could move him to the couch… Huffing, the male walked briskly into the bathroom, letting his eyes scan the simple bathroom. A washcloth… A rag… There had to be something. Lips pursed, the male leaned down to scavenge through the drawers. Toothbrushes, towels, and scissors. “It’ll have to do,” Link murmured to himself, tugging the towel out quickly, scissors gripped in a gloved hand.

It didn’t take long for Link to perfectly cut away a strip of the towel, put the scissors aside, and run extremely cold water all over the rag, squeezing the water out until it was only very cold, wet, but no longer dripping. Mentally deeming it good enough, Link turned on his heel, walking briskly down the hall once more, until he was met by the familiar hisses of pain.

Sadly, his brown eyes immediately hit a sight. Allen, the idiot, was trying to move around, trying to sit up again, wheezing and straining. Scowling, ever so slightly, Link stared something fierce at the white haired boy. “I don’t plan on letting you walk, Allen. You’re light, anyways.” Link insisted, immediately gaining a wide-eyed look of guilt, and perhaps embarrassment. The feeling was washed down by utter tiredness however. Allen looked beat. Not only psychically, but mentally. At this moment Link only wished that Allen would hurriedly get over this pain, still have his sanity, and would be able to sleep well. Link knew better, sadly. Allen would have already had to been dealing with this for a few days for the fever to be that bad.

Sighing, mentally, Link approached the struggling boy, placing the cold washcloth on his burning hot forehead. “You may need to hold it in place.” The blonde said simply, before leaning closer, arms reaching out. Carefully, Link let one hard scoop under Allen’s shaking legs, the other supporting his back. It was easy, surprisingly, to lift Allen bridal style into his arms, the boy shuddering. Luckily, as Link had said, Allen had placed a hand against the cloth, holding it to his feverish forehead. Link only hoped that the wet cloth was enough to lower his fever to a normal level once again. Caramel eyes flickering down to glance at the pained boy, Link stared. The pain must have been horrible for Allen to tremble this way, and grit his teeth, surely to hide the sounds of the pain. Glancing away once again, the blonde turned carefully, walking at a steady pace into the living room, approaching the couch. It was cleaner, and gave Link easier access to watch him while he warmed the food. Carefully, Link bent down to gently sit Allen against the couch, before lowering his back into the plush sofa, so the boy’s head could rest perfectly on the arm rest.

Observing Allen momentarily, Link spoke. “Is that okay?”

The white haired boy shifted weakly, trying to get his neck comfortable. It was hard, with the already horrifying amount of pain, to become comfortable. Though, Allen couldn’t be picky. Letting his hand drop from holding the washcloth in place, to grip his other trembling arm, the boy only nodded. It was all he could do. If he spoke, Allen may just scream instead. The pain was only getting worse, to his dismay. The physical pain was horrible. It felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing him; in the spine, sides, head, legs, and stomach. As for the mental pain, Allen couldn’t really put a finger on it.

Allen knew Link had left the room when he nodded, but it didn’t completely register with his mind. It was a blur of colors, a blur of movement. The voices started again. They were confusing, irritating. Allen wanted to tear out his own mind, to scream, to have this over with. It was insanity; that was for sure. His sense of time was lost. It was numb, but the pain, oh—the pain wasn’t numb yet. It grew, grew, grew, and Allen swore that it wasn’t going to stop. His mind was humming, the voices hissing and blurring together into one giant mess. He could hear them, oh yes, but he didn’t want to.

 

_‘It’s better this way. It’ll be fun.’_

_‘Come on, join us already. Just let yourself go.’_ Allen didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be the monster everyone was scared of. He couldn’t, Allen couldn’t let himself go.

_‘They all hate you anyways.’_

_‘Who would let a monster into their home?’_

_‘They hate you.’_

_‘He hates you.’_ Link… Did he hate Allen? No, that was ridiculous. Allen tried to reason with his mind, to mentally cry out for them to stop. It didn’t work.

 _‘Join us.’_  

 

 This time, Allen screamed aloud, letting out a strangled sob of pain in the process. It was immediate, his body trembling wildly, body curling into itself, and fingers curling into white locks, tugging harshly. “Stop, stop! Leave me alone!” Allen cried out loudly, madness curling through his voice. He didn’t even notice the clang of a pan.

It was Link, of course. Screw the spilled food. The blonde was hasty, running from the kitchen to skid to a stop in front of the sobbing, screaming boy. Eyes wide, Link kneeled down in front of the couch. “Oi, Allen! It’s okay. It’s just me. Do you know who I am?” Link asked loudly, hastily, hands itching to reach out and grab the boy.

Allen heard Link this time, screams fading into ragged sobs. The tears came easily now, his body unable to hold them back anymore. It was as if his feelings were unlocked now, all at once, pouring from his pained body. It all hurt. Mentally, psychically—it _burned._ His memories were twisting, contorting—this is what madness felt like. Allen hated it. Letting out another broken sob, before falling silent for a moment, Allen nodded. Link. It was just Link. And the voices, of course.

Link let out a breath, one he didn’t know he was holding. “That’s a start. I can’t have you forgetting me, or yourself.” The blonde said quietly, finally allowing his arms to reach out, gently prying Allen’s hands from his hair. “If you need to squeeze something, squeeze my hands. Don’t rip out your beautiful hair, okay?” Link coaxed, scooting slightly closer to the boy, knees hitting the couch. Surprisingly, Allen didn’t tug his hands away.

Allen squeezed his hands tightly, gasping and panting for air between broken sobs. It was burning more… “Please, please… Make it stop. It hurts.” Allen choked out, lifting his head slightly to allow blue eyes to meet brown ones. Allen hated this, feeling weak. It wasn’t like he could help it, though. His mind was unhinged, scrambled. He was a mess. Noah’s were a mess. 

“We just have to be patient, Allen. I can’t make it stop. I’m sorry.” Link said, gritting his teeth in the process. The reminder stung—he couldn’t help. Link couldn’t stop the pain. In this situation, to put bluntly, he was useless, besides fetching cold washcloths and making the boy eat, or remind him of his own name. “What’s your name, how old are you, and who am I?” Link suddenly asked, standing, and softly lifting the boy from his slumped position, only to sit on the couch next to Allen, letting his trembling body slump into his side.

Allen only squeezed his hands tighter, attempting to breathe normally once again. It was a struggle; that was for sure. Finally, letting his sobs silence, instead letting silent tears drip from crystal blue eyes, Allen opened his mouth to speak.  “My name is Allen Walker. I’m sixteen years old. Your name is Howard Link. You work for the Black Order, and you’re shorter than me.” Allen mumbled, clearing his throat when he was done speaking.

Link swore, when the boy was better, he was going to scold him for hours. Shorter than him? Eyebrow twitching, Link let out a huff. Though, he was surprised to see the sight below him, and the sudden shift of weight.

Allen was now, most likely not purposely, resting in his lap. Head resting on his thigh, body curled up otherwise, and the poor boy seemed so much weaker. Though, Allen Walker, of all times, wore a strange smile. “It’s true. You’re just short, Link. Don’t feel bad.” Allen murmured again, somewhat happy to hear the crack in his voice at least partially gone. Tiredly, the boy let his eyelashes flutter shut, with a soft wince.  The pain just wouldn’t seem to leave… How annoying… “Why’re you here, Link? You’ll get in trouble.” The white haired male whispered suddenly, hands squeezing tighter in Link’s once again.

Link was taken aback by both the comment, and the question. “Even like this, you’re a handful, Allen. Geez.” Link sighed out, eyes drifting over the boy’s pale face, and star. “I’m here because I want to be. Do I really need a reason? I’m fully prepared to accept consequences for my actions. They were wrong to throw you out, in my opinion.” Link stated simply. Though, he knew better. Even with his dulled emotions, Link was smart enough to know it wasn’t that simple. It never was when it came to Allen Walker.

Allen had fallen silent at this point, only letting out the occasional hiss or twitch of pain. He didn’t know what to say for a reply. His mind was scrambled enough, but Link had to go and say something like that? Finally, Allen blurted the first thing that came to his mind. “Why? I’m a _monster_ now, Link. Or, are you just saying that so you can kill me when I fall asleep?”

Allen received almost the same reaction as before—light anger.

“You are not a monster, Allen. Noah’s are not monsters. They still choose their paths, regardless of how much insanity fills them. You should know that. I’m not planning to kill you. If anything, I’ll protect you. You are still under my watch, Allen Walker. I don’t give up when jobs get tough.” Link practically spat, voice dead serious as he spoke. “You’re Allen Walker, a Noah, not a monster.” Link finished, voice slowly sinking back into its normal tone of stoic.

At this point, Allen could only nod, gulping back another set of welling words. His mind doubted Link, yes, but at the same time… Allen’s old mind trusted Link. It was still there, fighting through the madness. Letting out another hiss, Allen squeezed Link’s hands tighter, teeth slowly gritting once again. Allen was stupid to believe he would receive sleep this night. It all still hurt, and Allen was sure now, it wasn’t ending anytime soon. He couldn’t even crack another tease at Link, it hurt too much for that. He missed his family. He missed his sane mind. He missed his mostly pain free body. Though, his old mind recognized some good in the situation.

Link was warm and comforting against the chilly feeling formed from his fever. The fever had gone down because of Link. That Allen was very grateful for. Slowly, Allen let out a calmed breath, grip relaxing slightly from Link’s gloved hands. “Thank you.” The boy said suddenly, eyes slowly opening, meeting a mildly surprised look from Link.

“Of course, Allen Walker. As I said, my job isn’t done yet.” Link replied calmly, before gently letting go of one of Allen’s hands, letting to lower to ever so carefully brush a strand of snow white hair from the boy’s face, away from his mark.

This time, it was Allen who seemed surprised, but sadly, it didn’t last long. More pain shot through him, and the boy gasped weakly, his hand gripping Link’s again, his other hand curling into a tight fist. God, it hurt. Just as he was content, too. Allen sobbed, dryly, in frustration. Why him? Why this? He wanted it over… It hurt too much.

 

* * *

 

 

It lasted for hours. Hours passed, daylight passed, midnight passed. Allen continued to writhe in pain, cry out occasionally, and hiss. His skin was one of a Noah’s now, pale and hinted gray. To Link, it didn’t look bad. Though, the way Allen cried out that it burned was horrible. Link kept reminding him, almost constantly, of who he was, and who himself was. It was almost painful, seeing Allen this way. Allen wasn’t the only one that wanted it over, for Allen’s pain to end. All Link could do was occasionally brush his hair from his face, let Allen squeeze his hand, and bring him another cold piece of the cut towel.

It was around four am when Allen felt mostly silent, only wheezing for breath from his latest pain attack.

Link paused too, glanced down at Allen, staring now. “Allen?” Link asked, carefully. His hand hesitated again, brushing over the boy’s soft skin on his neck, assuring he was alive. Luckily, he was.

“The pain’s almost gone now. It’s fading. I’m tired, Link. And cold.” Allen whispered, voice hoarse from all his cries of agony that rang out earlier in the night. He was glad, almost instantly. It was leaving… But, at the same time, the same wave of depression hit even harder. He was a Noah now, Allen wasn’t an exorcist anymore.

Link froze, before letting out a loud breath, one of relief. “Thank God.” He mused aloud, sinking back into the couch, hand resting back on Allen’s shoulder, before letting his other hand slide from Allen’s weak grip. Allen was cold, right. Glancing around, the male pursed his lips. The bed blankets were bloodied and gross… “I’ve got to get up, Allen. Can you sit up?” Link asked softly, receiving a slight nod in reply.

Allen, carefully, sat up in the couch, trembling only slightly now. From exhalation, of course. Frankly, the boy was happy just to be able and move now, even though it stung like hell.

Link was overly happy, mentally of course, to see Allen moving and not screaming in pain. It was already much of an improvement. Letting out another sigh of relief, the blonde quickly stood, scurrying towards the bedroom. Arriving in the dark room, Link squinted through the darkness, until his eyes hit the floor, where his coat had been previously shucked. This was the most he could do, sadly. Picking it up, Link stood back up, before briskly returning to the living room. “This is all I have. I’m sorry.” Link said sincerely, handing the coat to the shivering boy.

Though, Allen smiled. It was weak, and sad in its own way, but it still made Link feel slightly better. “It’s fine. Thank you.” Allen whispered in reply, before hesitantly, the boy patted the couch again.

For a moment, Link was confused. What was Allen doing? Then, it hit. Allen wanted him to sit down again? Link hesitated, staring at the Noah. “Are you sure, Allen?” Link questioned carefully.

Allen was silent, but slowly, the boy nodded. In addition to not wanting to speak, Allen didn’t want to let out the weak words. He wanted Link to stay, but… Allen was only confusing himself more. His newly redone mind was different in a process of thinking, of course.

Link hesitated again, but slowly, the blonde approached the couch closer, before letting himself sink into the cushion. It was almost immediate this time; Allen resting his head into his lap with a content sigh, Link’s large coat tossed over his frail, shivering body. For some reason, Link sympathized with that sigh of content. It was getting more prominent, the feeling of exhaustion, and a strange fuzzy feeling.

It was on impulse that Link leaned over Allen, whom appeared already asleep. “Goodnight, Allen. I’ll make you a nice meal in the morning.” The blonde whispered, before ever so gently, Link placed a soft kiss into Allen’s soft skin on his forehead, his own eyelids brushing closed from the relaxing act.

It was like this that the two fell asleep, only the steady thump of their hearts and soft breaths to be heard. The pain was gone, the silence had returned, and to both of their happiness, they had each other in this moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry over anime with me on Tumblr. ( http://levi-friggin-ackerman.tumblr.com/ )
> 
> Or, come cry over anime with me on Instagram. ( @TrashyIzaya )
> 
> Comments and Kudo's always welcome and very appreciated! As always, constructive criticism is very welcome! Thank you very much for the read, and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
